Serious Disaster
by the Red Nothing
Summary: [RikkuGippal] New Yevon's under fire again, and Gippal sets out to help his buddy Baralai -except he has no idea what he's doing. But after bumping into an Al Bhed excavation team, Rikku gives him this GREAT idea... Which, unfortunately, requires her to
1. The one that comes before the first one

"Y'know, people need to understand the meanin' of the word 'Calm!'"

Gippal stood, flamingo-like, in his room at Machine Faction HQ.  He was delivering a passionate speech -totally riled -  to his own reflection.  His reasoning was, hey, you can't complain ABOUT idiots TO idiots.

"Yeah, I've come to the simple conclusion that people're a liiiiiiiittle too stupid for their own goddamn good," he said tersely, shaking his head. He glanced up at himself in the mirror.  "OK, so I've never been too great at the whole calm thing, but I've got it pretty much figured out now!  I mean, hell, three years ago I was calm an' mellow for MONTHS." He puffed out his sweatered chest. "Hah!"

His own reflection would not buy it. Talk about sad.  Gippal deflated, and he gingerly poked where a certain scar lay.  
  
"...'course, I was recoverin' from a gunshot wound, but, uh... Ugh! That isn't the point!" Standing on two feet, he slammed his hands on the nightstand in frusteration.  "The POINT.. is that eeeevery time some huge bad-ass thing with WAY too many appendages threatens Spira and then gets killed by a buncha schoolgirls," he paused for effect, "no one's ever freakin' _happy! _Give 'em a few months.. boom!" He gestured an 'explosion', the ties on his gloves flapping against his little wardrobe.    "New Yevon versus Youth League! Guado versus Ronso! Idiots versus... uh, bigger idiots." Yes, that sounded right.  "And now?" 

  
He had meant to bang his fist and lean his head against the wall in frustration, but he was so pissed off the signal must have gotten scrambled on the way to his brain.  Cursing quietly in Al Bhed as he shook the pain out of his skull, he did something he rarely did -and when he did, it was always interesting: brood.

OK, 'fume' works better here. When one broods, one reflects on something and sulks.  Gippal would think about something and then get worked up.  He was furious at humanity in general, here.   

Everything had been going fine between the Youth League and New Yevon... at least, for a while.  Then someone requested Baralai return the treasure spheres that Trema had stolen.  Baralai had apologized, saying he didn't know where they were -but the people were refusing to believe him.  They changed their request to a demand.

"Someone might decide to use Praetor-Boy for target practice," Gippal muttered, adjusting the patch over his eye.  

The news wasn't widely spread, but intolerance against the Yevonites was once again sparking.  As an Al Bhed, Gippal normally wouldn't have given a squatter monkey's ass, but Baralai was an old buddy.

And no one messed with The Gip's buddies. 

He admitted quietly to himself that Lady Yuna could sort it out. But she was out snogging with her new hubby, and she shouldn't be bothered.  Of course, he was secretly glad of this... If she wound up fixing another one of his goddamn problems he was gonna scream.

Putting a finger to his lips, Gippal considered his options for as long as three seconds.  He slung his massive weapon onto his back, pocketed a few belongings, and spoke briefly to the mobile com hovering above him. 

"Stigma, E's rayteh' uid! Leyu!"

The door slammed behind him, and the Machine Faction leader sauntered out of his HQ to either help out his friend or cause some serious disaster.

-------------------

*Stigma, I'm headin' out! Ciao!


	2. Rikku and the BFG

_A/N: As 90% of the characters are Al Bhed, most of the conversation, I reasoned, would be done in Al Bhed.  But... in a fic about an Anime, they'd all be speaking Japanese. Yet, we write it in English. Why? It's easier to read.  So yeah, they're usually speaking in Al Bhed, but I don't think you wanna decipher every single goddamn line. You can thank me later ~_^_

Serious Disaster by Akai Kuu

Chapter 1: Rikku, a Chimera, Plot, and the BFG

**_KABOOM!!_**_  
  
_Rikku jumped about twenty feet into the air as a lightning bolt slammed into the cactuar stone right next to her.

  
"Still scared? Poor Rikku," Brother chimed, carrying a large pile of machina parts.  Rikku glared.

"Yeah, but I don't wanna get fried, you chicken-headed dork!" Brother dropped the parts, ready to get into a full-fledged squabble, but the force of gravity caused said parts to land on his feet.  His curses and other profane phrases caught the attention of the entire, somewhat amused, camp, as well as his less-than-amused father.

  
"All right, all right!" grumbled Cid. "No more monkey-business -if we wanna get anywhere out here, we gotta focus -An' stop pickin ' on yer brother, Rikku!" 

  
"But it's fun!" she pouted as Brother puffed out his chest. "Idiot," she mumbled, retrieving some of the parts.  Her father had decided, after falling into that cave in the Thunder Plains last year, that the machina down there were too intruiging and potentially valuable to pass up.  Rikku was inclined to agree, but she really didn't think that her old man should take about 30 people, mostly Al Bhed, to the Plains to retrieve, store, and catalogue the parts while the lightning towers were out of order.  _Especially _if one of those Al Bhed was her. She shivered at another explosion, far enough away to not give her a heart attack.    
  
"Rikku!" Her father's voice called as another blast sounded. "Get the hell over here!" Dumping the parts into another girl's arms, Rikku bolted over to Cid, more blasts sounding in rapid succession, sometimes accompanied by inhuman screams.  Something was very, very wrong -those blasts were NOT thunder!

"Vydrad?" she gasped as she arrived at his side, panting.  Everyone was staring southeast; the camp was on a slight elevation, thus while they could hear the destruction quite clearly indeed, all they could see of it were flashes of white light, their sources hidden by the slope of the hill.  
  
"Rikku," Cid began slowly. "Uh, it's gettin' kinda close to the camp, and, uh..." Rikku nodded vigorously.

"So you want me to smash it, right Pops?" She chirped.  Cid was a bit taken aback by her willingness. "No problem! I can't have the whole camp dying because my pops is an idiot!" Readying her weapons, she bounced up, then made a mad dash toward the battle, skidding down the side of the hill.

  
Once she had dug her sneakers into the ground to stop her descent, she found herself standing behind a massive chimera; whatever it was that was causing the explosions was a lot smaller than it, and also in front of it.  Rikku found herself having an odd affinity toward the attacker -she hated chimera. Their three heads always glared at her, and only HER, whenever she and the girls fought one... Then she'd get soaked and frozen and zapped and fried and ... The Al Bhed girl shook her head. "Ooh, now is NOT the time!" She instead watched the battle ensue, waiting for her opening. Several rays of light would explode, shoot out around it in tendrils, then converge in a giant blast of white light.  Rikku knew a machina when she saw it -or even when she didn't see it; one of the hole's ancient machina was on the fritz!  She had to get rid of this nuscience first before she could take care of the real problem.

Taking aim, she hurled one of her sai in the chimera's direction. It buried itself deep in one of the beast's necks.

"Woohoo! I _rock!_" She cheered, bouncing a little.   With a whine, the chimera fell to the charred earth in a swarm of pyreflies. "Yeah! Yeah! Yea-uh oh." Her eyes widened -another volley of machina-fire was heading her way!  
  
"Gah!" shouted two human voices as Rikku dropped to eat some dirt. She covered her ears as the energy blasts slammed into the earth all around her.  "I'm gonna die," she chanted again and again, eyes squeezed shut as debris brushed and battered against her.   Even if this first volley missed her, the second would be aiming for her, not the now-extinct chimera.  And this wasn't some run-of-the-mill machina, either. Where the hell was pops?! 

As if in some sort of answer, things quieted.  Still shaking, the only sounds the terrified ex-guardian now heard were slow human bootsteps coming toward her.  They stopped, and she sensed a presense standing over her.  
  
"W-wah," she wailed, too petrified to even open her eyes. A familiar chuckle caught her ears, and they snapped open in annoyance.

"Heh heh heh... woops.  Sorry about that."  Gippal stood before her, holding his massive, smoking machina weapon in his arms.  Rikku glared evilly at him, trying to look as imposing as possible from her fetal position on the ground.  

"You IDIOT!" She squeaked, recieving only a slight laugh in reply. Gah, he could be sooo annoying sometimes! 

"Hey," he said as he shouldered his weapon, a bit more seriously. "You all right?" He knelt before her, peering as she continued to glare daggers.  "I didn't break ya, did I? 'cuz if you get messed up,  Daddy's gonna kill me."  He frowned deeply; her only reply was her endless deathglare, smouldering more and more.  "Seriously, you ok? Your face stuck like that?" He poked her experimentally, causing a giggle.  The grin returned to his face. "That's more like it!"  
  
"Ooooh, what is it with you and your BFG?" she relented, finally sitting up.  
  
"Hey, it's my baby!"  
  
"You're gonna kill something with that kid," Rikku countered.  "Particularly ME!" Gippal rubbed the back of his neck, standing up again.  
  
"YOU!" Shouted an angry voice, attached to an angry finger pointing angrily at Gippal.

"Me?" Gippal replied with a blink, staring at the hand and the arm and the very angry guy. "Oh, hi Brother."  
  
"Don't you 'hi Brother' me!" Brother screamed in his distinct accent, flapping his arms.  A small crowd was gathering, a bit surprised at Gippal's presense.

But not Brother's behavior. You had to get used to that pretty quickly.

"What did I do now?" Gippal muttered, his exasperation masked by another blast of thunder.  Something tugged on his pant-leg, and he glanced down to see a secretive-looking Rikku.

"He's still pissed off about his little girlfriend that you stole," she muttered, sounding embarassed. He shook his head and began to rub his temples.  Just as he was about to point out that he had been _nine years old _at the time, a loud, inherantly crass voice rolled across the Plains above the thunder.

"GIPPAL!!" Cid dashed down the hill, looking oddly hilarious. "The hell're YOU doin' here?!"  Gippal shook his head, his grin slanting as he lifted a hand to salute haphazardly. 

"Yo."

--------------------------------------------------------

  
Gippal sat cross-legged in his tent, cleaning the soot, dirt, and other assorted grimies from his 'big fuggin' gun', as Rikku had dubbed it.  A small machina, just an orb with a metal base that was tied to the ceiling by a string, shone softly, giving him an odd blue light to work by.

Thunder rolled outside.  He was glad he'd run into this little camp out here; he'd been walking, running, tripping, and shoopuffing his way to Bevelle nonstop.  He was in the home stretch now, but damn, did it feel good to have a break -even if it happened to be in the middle of a perpetual lightningstorm.  

Actually, Cid wasn't that stupid.  Most of the work was going on underground -either in the ruins themselves or here where the tents were, in a good-sized cave against the eastern boundries of the Plains.  Here he could chill without worrying about becoming barbequed. 

"So," came a familiar voice from his tent-flap, "what _are _you doing out here?"  Gippal shook his head, smirking at his friend.

"Now, what would Daddy say if he knew his little girl were barging into other people's tents, huh?" Again, he shook his head as Rikku pouted. "Heh, c'mon in."

Rikku bounced into the tent, having a seat next to Gippal as he patted the spot beside him with his hand.  He wasn't ignoring her by any means; he fully acknowledged her presense.  However, he continued to work on his weapon silently, aside from the occasional muttered curse as something in the wiring sparked and shocked his ungloved hand.

"It goes there," chirped Rikku, peering over his shoulder.  His eye followed her, almost suspiciously, as he slowly followed her instruction. "Thaaaaaanks," he said at length, flicking one of her earrings as an afterthought. 

"Wow, where did you get this?" Rikku wondered, eyeing the machina in Gippal's lap.  "This isn't like anything I've seen... didja find it?" Gippal grinned, proud of himself.

"Yeah, when I was... what, eight? Yeesh, I'm surprised you don't remember," he chuckled, trying to look hurt. He gave the gun an almost affectionate pat. "Been soupin' her up ever since." 

"It looks like a mecha porcupine fused with a set of bagpipes," she stated. Gippal gave her an odd look, feeling her forehead.   
  
"What?" She said, blinking up at his hand, going somewhat cross-eyed.  Gippal let his hand fall into his lap with yet another shake of his head. "Riiiiiiiiiight."

"Seriously -where are you going?" She sounded genuinely curious. Gippal rubbed the back of his neck. 

"Bevelle." 

 She blinked at him. "Is Baralai ok?" Again, he was somewhat hesitant -and not entirely sure why.  

"Well, it's kinda like this.... Remember all those spheres Trema took?" Rikku shuddered at the mention of the name. "Yeah, well... they're thinkin' Baralai's hiding 'em.  People're startin' to get pissed."  
  
"But he isn't!" Rikku almost shouted, causing Gippal to blink. Since when had she gotten so chummy with Baralai? "Trema destroyed those spheres, and they turned into pyreflies floatin' around in Via Infinito!!"  
  
"Oooookay," said Gippal, setting his machina down.  "He did what, they did what, where, and how the hell do _you _know?"

His eyes didn't leave Rikku as she fiddled with her hands. "Weee-eeeellll..." She stuck out her tongue. "I don't think I'm gonna' tell you!"   
  
"What?!" Rikku nodded in satisfaction. "Agh, c'mon," he grumbled, running a hand through his hair. "This is _important_, kid! You don't want that pretty boy ta get tarred an' feathered, do ya?" He tried to give her a pathetic face, but she stuck out her tongue again.  Annoyed, Gippal made a grab for it.  
  
"Blaff!"  
  
"C'mon, spill it!"  He was forced to let go as Rikku kneed him in the arm.   
  
"Hey, that was mean!" She sniffed.  
  
Gippal folded his arms haughtily. "Yeah, well... so's keepin' secrets."  He turned to face her fully, his face quite serious.  "C'mon Rikku," he said quietly. "Please?"

"OK," she said. Well, that had been easy.  Had he said some sort of magic word?  "Well, uh.. Via Infinito..." She shuddered. "This could take awhile -you got any food?"

He rolled his eyes and laughed, reaching into his pocket and tossing her a cookie.  "Man, it's almost like I planned to bump into ya when I packed that," he chuckled. 

"Righ', ok!" She shoved the last bits of cookie into her mouth. "Via Infinito... s'in Bevelle. Under Bevelle." Gippal furrowed his brows.

"Y'mean where they kept Vegnagun?"  
  
Rikku shook her head. "No," she whispered, "I think this place is even older than that.  There really aren't any machina -just lots of glyphs and lifts and creepy temple stuff." She shuddered again.  "And fiends.  A _lot _of fiends... but the worst part..."  
  
He leaned forward. There was a "worst part" after all of that? 

"The worst part," she continued, "is all of the pyreflies... and unsent.." Gippal's visible eye widened. "It's like the freakin' Farplane under there," she wailed, latching onto his arm.   
  
He patted her head.  "What were ya doin' in a place like that?"

"It's not like I _wanted _to be!  Just Yunie followed some kids down there and there was this scary unsent guy and Paine was like," Rikku deepened her voice here, trying to look as mean as possible. "'Well we should follow' and _I _was like, 'Nuh-uh, nooo way!'" She shook her head. "But the creepy unsent guy said that Trema had been down there a year earlier or something so..."

And thus began Rikku's tale.  Gippal sat on his blankets, Rikku still quasi-latched to his arm, for the next hour or so.  He listened, for the most  part, with rapt attention, although he sometimes cracked a joke or snuck in a snide comment to get a laugh or two.  This story needed it: as Gippal understood it,  Rikku's was a tale of fiends, dead people, fiends, annoying glyphs, fiends, embarassing dresspheres, fiends, more dead people, fiends, Yuna's bad cooking, fiends, fiends, and fiends.

"Did I mention," panted Rikku, wrapping up her story, "that there were a lot of fiends?!"  
  
Gippal scratched his temple. "Ah..nope, I think you must've missed that part." He kept an absolutely straight face; the man deserved an Academy Award.   Instead, he got a playful slug in the arm. "Hey!" He laughed. "Watch it!"

"Quit being a dork!" Rikku laughed back, and Gippal grinned.  He faintly registered that, at least for now, life almost seemed normal. Nevermind that they were discussing a bunch of dead guys.

"So lemme get this straight," he made his reluctant return to seriousness.  "You went down, about a zillion -by your scientific calculations- levels down, only to find Trema was unsent, crazy, and he had destroyed all the spheres."  
  
"And there was hurt," she reminded him.  He really didn't like to think about some uberpowerful, sadistic, undead geezer pounding the crap out of Rikku or Paine, let alone both.  Although he did like the part where they pounded back, and mercilessly.  Those two must be paying attention to his style, he reasoned.

"Uh, yeah, that too -but it's the sphere thing..." He rubbed his chin with his free hand. "They're machina, aren't they? Spheres I mean... We're Al Bhed, we know that."  
  
"Yupyup," said Rikku. "I dunno what the heck the Yevon baldies wanted people to think-"  
  
"But they probably thought it."  He shook his head, leaning back a little.  "OK, what gets me is.. when you dismantle or otherwise destroy a machina, it just falls apart, blows up -even Vegnagun had no pyreflies involved..."  

"Maybe... maybe they're not machina," Rikku said quietly.  Gippal gave her an incredulous look, and she quickly explained herself. "Maybe there's a property in the sphere that captures the memories of people.... and can play them back.."  
  
"Ya think that's what the pyreflies were about?" 

"Maybe -we still don't even know what _those _are." 

He became lost in deep thought, taking in all of this new information.  He'd never imagined that Rikku and Paine had enjoyed this degree of "fun" with the High Summoner.  Man, he thought they'd just taken their time reaching Vegnagun...   Of course, back to saving Baralai's skin -how could this info help him? He could reveal the info, but would that be such a great idea?  How _much _of it could he spill and still be believed? He faintly registered a voice speaking his name, several times; he gave his companion's hand a bit of a squeeze to let her know he was conscious, but out in the twilight zone.  Would he even be believed if he told everyone _everything? _If it hadn't been one of his friends telling him all of this face-to-face, he might not have believed it either... well, maybe not a few months ago.  He'd seen some pretty weird crap lately.  OK, so--

"Uhm, Gippal?" Rikku repeated, a bit louder. "My, uhm, arm is asleep?"  Gippal sweatdropped; he had sort of pinned her hand to he floor of his tent.

"RIKKU!!" Shouted the unmistakable voice of Brother. Gippal wondered what it would be like if he were Rikku, introducing family ("_And this is my brother, Brother.") _He lurched as Rikku pulled her hand free, causing his weight to shift.

"I'd better get outta here -Brother will freak." She rolled her eyes and laughed. He smacked his forehead -was it  him, or did Brother just not like him, plain and simple?  He waved back.

"It's getting late," he managed to be heard saying above Brother's hollering. "Go get your beauty sleep, Cid's girl!"  
  
She fumed at his grin, stomping her feet. "You _will _memorize my name, _one of these days!!_" With a huff, she was gone. 

"Heh," was his only comment.  He flicked his light off, removed his eyepatch, and fell back into his blankets.  He would have seemed asleep to any who saw him, but in actuality he hardly slept at all that night, digesting this newfound information in his mind.

There was that, and the Sphere Call he got at just before four in the morning.

--------------------------

A/N:   Wow. Notes. Whatev. Er.


	3. NoojieWoojie and the Sock

Serious Disaster by Akai Kuu

Chapter 2: Noojie-Woojie and the Sock

The Al Bhed camp was in fact situated in the very cave a certain dragon had taken residence in a year ago, just before a most memorable concert. It was rather spacious, but the various elevations made pitching a camp for thirty confusing. Still, the fiends within were easily cleared out, and the entrance was small enough to guard just as easily. The snores and hushed whispers of the expeditioners echoed within the shell of the cave, while thunder and lightning raged on outside.

Being an unexpected addition, Gippal had been instructed to sleep quite close to the entrance, meaning that in addition to the schemes that danced in his head, born from his conversation with Rikku, he had less protection from the sound of thunder -not to mention the three rather boisterous guards that kept watch that night. Every five minutes, it seemed, they would be carrying on at whatever rodent scurried across the shale floor. 

With these annoyances, Gippal had finally fallen asleep at perhaps two in the morning. His dreams were filled with nothing exactly noteworthy, although there was an interesting one involving two hypello, a pink shoopuff, and a jumbo cactuar composed entirely of cheese. However, after scarcely two hours of sleep, a soft yet annoying blipping sound again stirred Gippal from his slumber.

"Gippal," said a masculine voice quietly, "Gippal, are you there?" His eyes red, and his hair sticking up everywhre, a sullen-faced Gippal snatched up the comm sphere and stared at the face of Mevyn Nooj with gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry; I was trying to contact a friend of mine -I seem to have stumbled upon the Living Dead."  
  
"Yeesh Noojster, you sure do pick the time to actually develop a sense of humor," the Al Bhed muttered.

Nooj's face smirked. "Nice hair," he commented. "You could go into that new 'punk' craze that's sweeping Spira with all of you kids. Pierce your nose and you're set."

Boy, Nooj was in a _funny _mood tonight. "Look, why are you bothering me at this hour of the night? Don't you have better things to do?" He waved his hand, trying to make a dismissive motion to the comm sphere, but his gestures were way off the mark. "Go have some fun with that stalker clown of yours..."

Nooj chuckled, adjusting his glasses. "Gippal," he said slowly, "you do realize you're the head of an organization?"  
  
"I try not to think about that," he muttered. "It makes me feel like an old fart like you."  
  
"Yes, well, we old farts have our responsibilities, and--"

"Ooooh no," Gippal moaned, resting his face in his palms. "Are you gonna lecture me? You're gonna lecture me! You're gonna start walking about how you had to talk fifteen miles in the snow, barefoot, with a--"  
  
"GIPPAL!" He peeped through a crack in his fingers. "The Machine Faction has been worried -this is the second time you've just up and disappeared!"

"I left a message with Stigma!" Gippal protested, looking up.

"Yes Gippal," Nooj said patiently. "You did. You said you were going out. You failed to mention, however, where you were going, why you were going there, for how long, the urgency, the instructions on what to do in your absense..."  
  
The younger man sighed in defeat. Was there no winning with this guy? "OK, OK. I'm going to Bevelle -I might be gone for a few weeks. Keep digging stuff up. Happy?"

Happy was perhaps not the word, but Gippal had certainly piqued Nooj's curiosity. "Bevelle?" He quired, almost breaking his perpetual monotone. "Because of the situation with Baralai? Gippal, there's no need -Paine is there, acting as bodyguard--"  
  
"But Rikku and I have this great plan!" he blurted. OK, so he had just tossed this plan together that night while failing to sleep. _He _thought it was a pretty good idea, and Rikku probably would too. After all, she was involved in it. So, she, uh, had better...

Nooj looked quite skeptical. "_You and Rikku _have a _great idea_? Does this involve things exploding?"  
  
"No, but I'm sure we could work that in somehow," he joked. He looked at the exasperated image of Nooj with earnest eyes. "Noojster, _Rikku knows what's up with the spheres._"

"So does Paine," the Mevyn of the Youth League replied calmly, causing Gippal's little happy balloon to deflate. "How will that help us?"

The gears in Gippal's half-awake brain turned slowly. He _knew _it was a good plan -it _had _to be... But then why wasn't Paine acting on it...? 

Because she was watching Baralai!

"Look, we've gotta plan -tell Paine and Baralai that we'll be droppin' in with in the next couple a' days, but for them to keep it quiet." He paused. "Ah, you might wanna change my location for the folks back at the Faction. Heh, they get protective of me."  
  
Nooj raised a brow, neither saying nay nor binding himself to the duty Gippal had assigned him. "What shall I tell them?"  
  
Gippal shrugged. "Aw, I dunno Noojie-Woojie -just make up some BS, be creative!" Nooj scowled.

"Do _not _call me that," he could faintly be heard below Gippal's laughter. A blonde head poked into the tent.

"Gippal, breakfast," the male Al Bhed reported before slipping back out. Gippal scratched his head.  
  
"Woo, early risers here. Well, take care Noojie-Woojie; an' don't sweat it. It's under control!" 

With a click, Nooj's image vanished, and the day braced itself as Gippal rushed outside to greet it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nearly twelve hours later, a perky form zipped across the Thunder Plains. Rikku hummed the song composed impromptu by Shinra merrily, having snuck away from the overseerers and gained her freedom, if only for a little while. Everyone had been distracted by the arrival of the Machine Faction's leader; unlike her, although she was considered a hero of sorts, Gippal had been considered a master of machina from a very young age, and was well-respected by most. Only problem was, he was an idiot in all other departments, such as, say, personal safety. She would have been happy to see her friend, but, knowing Gippal, she wouldn't be seeing much of him at all before he left -and that would be soon. Gippal never liked to hold still, especially in the case of an emergancy, such as the one that already appeared to be taking place. He also had a habit of not telling anyone when or where he was going, instead simply shrugging and walking away. Due to these habits, Rikku could not help but wonder if she would see her comrade again in quite some time.

As it happened, they were fated to meet much sooner than she could have possibly suspected.Before she had even finished sorting through the plots and thoughts in her little head, she happened to stumble upon Gippal in the metal structure on the Plains. Quite literally.

"Gyaaaaaa!" She cried out, falling on her face. He snorted and rolled over, mumbling something about dairy products.

"Gippal," she wailed, _the _wail, his name pronounced and punctuated in exactly the same way as, she felt, the 1000 times she had said it since she had met the man (It was in fact only the 511th), "what are you _doing?!_"

"Sleepin'?" he offered, rolling over again. This time, he managed to snag one of her socks on his eyepatch. The fabric stretched, causing Rikku to stumble once again, landing right on top of him.

"We have an undeniable chemistry, don'tcha think?" 

"Oooh, shut _up _and help me get _outta _this!"

The ordeal that followed was interesting, to say the least. Gippal's eyepatch was constructed in much the same way as a watch band, with metallic bars heald together on some elastic-like whole. The two of them struggled for about five minutes, before Rikku removed her shoe and sock, leaving Gippal with a white stocking stapled to the side of his head.

She giggled madly. "What?" he asked incredulously.

"You could make your life easier if you took off that eyepatch," she giggled. 

"It's nothing exciting," he mumbled as rain began to pour around them. Rikku blinked, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

"What's 'nothing exciting'?" She registered a faint ripping noise.

"Beneath the eyepatch," he said through a yawn. "It's just a bad eye. Here." He handed her her sock, held at arm's length away from his body as if it were some sort of venomous trout, and hostile at that.

"You _ripped _it!" She exclaimed in anguish.

"Oh for the love of...!" Gippal snatched the sock back, making mock spell-casting motions with one hand. "Hoodoo woodoo soodoo voodoo!" He flung it back in her face. "OK OK, it's fixed -can I have a nap now?"  
  
She didn't seem impressed. 

The sights and sounds of the excavation camp dulled around them through cascading grey, the rain sliding from the roof to make each side of the structure its own waterfall. Gippal sat upright now, his knees bent, his elbow resting on them, and his forehead cupped in that hand. He watched lazily, and with mild amusement, as his friend meticulously replaced her torn sock and her shoe, the concentration etched on her features reminiscent of one dismantling a potentially dangerous machina. Gippal allowed himself to nod off...

"So, why're ya so sleepy?" Gippal heard Rikku's voice say. Slowly, he opened his eyes, to find himself staring directly into hers -about two inches away from his face.  
  
"GAAH!! Personal space, woman!! _Personal space!!_" She flew backward onto her rump, but apparantly that did nothing to lessen the hilarity she found in the situation. "Why do you think I'm sleepy? I didn't sleep!"  
  
"Yeah, but I know you," she grinned. "You're never one to pass up a nap -c'mon, tell me what's on your mind!"  
  
"Guardian. Sphere hunter. Psychiatric help -five gil?"

Her reply was a broad smile. "Something like that. -hey, are you worried about Baralai?"  
  
"Not anymore," Gippal beamed, his fatigue vanishing. "I've gotta great plan."

"Does this involve things exploding?" she asked instantly. He regarded her with a blank stare. "What?" she blinked.

"Nothing," he muttered. "Uh, no, it doesn't.. yet.. See, I'm thinking that if the answers are anywhere, they've gotta be in Via Infinito. He busted those spheres down there, right? So all we gotta do--"  
  
"**_WAIT._**"

Gippal wasn't much of a man for metaphors, but at that moment, it seemed as though the Soundtrack of the Universe had screeched to a painful, forced halt.

"That was great, up 'til the whole 'we' part, Gippal."  
  
He blinked. "Eh?" Rikku clenched her fists, stomped her feet, and screamed louder than the thunder:  
  
"I never ever ever ever EVER EVER _EVER _wanna go back in there again!!!"

Gippal shot upright, visible eye wide. "But I _need _a guide!"  
  
"Then have Paine or Yunie do it!" spat the other Al Bhed, folding her arms.

"But they're busy!"

She sighed in exasperation, her wild glop of beads and feathers falling around and into her face. "OK," she said levelly. Gippal leaned forward, gingerly lifting a beaded braid between his thumb and forefinger to peer into one of her smouldering eyes. "You want guide? Jump down a bunch of holes until you die, ok?" 

He snorted and released her hair in annoyance, causing the bead on the end to thud gently against her eyelid.

"That wasn't nice," they said at the same time. The regarded each other blankly for half a moment, before Rikku broke the silence.

"I'm serious! That's what it's like! That's all the direction you need!"   
  
"How do I get _out?_"  
  
"Gah, blue glyphs! Stand on those! You, uh," she flicked her hands absently, nearly bapping Gippal in the nose, "teleport or something!"   
  
Smiling triumphantly, Gippal placed a hand on her shoulder. "See? I woulda never thought of that! That's why I need you -I could uh, die to death down there..." 

Wow Gip. The peril. Smooth. He cradled his head in his free hand. She'll be crying into her pillow over that one...

It was quiet. The thick curtain of rain pouring from the roof of the metallic gazebo muted the thunder. Not changing the angle of his head, Gippal's single visible eye peered intently at his companion through his mussed bangs. She seemed hesitant... 

She chewed nervously on a strand of her hair. "You'll go either way, huh?" Gippal's slanted grin slid into its accustomed position.

"Yup."

The curtain of rain was split by the head of one of the overseers, who immediately began barking at Rikku to get back to work, because they needed her help, and this was no time to slack and yadda yadda yadda. The Gullwing's face changed -she was listening to this clown! Scowling, Gippal made himself scarce, his punkish hair slicked flat against his skull by rushing water as he head out under open sky. What the hell was _his _problem? Maybe her cousin got most of the credit, but Rikku helped save the world _twice_. Couldn't this guy give her a slightly higher showing in the respect department?

He began to laugh -he was demanding respect for _Cid's girl _now_. _Shaking his head, he made his way back toward his tent; she seemed to have accepted her "duty," so he was going to have to make this little trek alone. 

He _so _was _not_ looking forward to it. 

Swaggering across the Plains, he attracted a few stares from those who had not seen him the day before, and curious glances from thet others who had. He was famous, even moreso than before -that fact, as always, was currently having the same impact on Gippal's train of thought as a fly typically has against a windshield; the man was thinking.

He knew as well as anyone that as far as guiding went, his little buddy Rikku... well, she kind of sucked at it. But after bumping into her, he had secretly vowed to get her to join him. Just because... Well, when was the last time they had hung out together? They were always palling around at Home, but then he'd left to try to join the Crusaders when he was, what, 15? Crimson Squad at 16, Machine Faction at 17, Vegnagun at 18. "Heh, I could die at age 20 and say I've lived a full life," he chuckled, blanching as his words came out sounding somewhat like Nooj.

But anyway. In the few times he _had _bumped into her in the last four years, Gippal had been reminded how much he loved to harass her. Hell, teasing her had gotten that much more fun with time -what material he had to work with now!

Clang.

In his Deep Thoughts, Gippal had wandered smack-dab into the metal tent pole. He glanced around himself nervously, checking if anyone had seen him. Either they all had miraculously looked the other way at the same moment, or they were doing a marvelous job of playing dumb. Satisfied nonetheless, he headed inside, gathered his belongings, and set out toward Macalania.

--------------------------------------------------

  
After the overseer had finished chewing her out, Rikku maintained her repentant expression long enough to allow him to turn around and begin walking away, at which point she promptly stuck out her tongue. "Meanie," she whispered, whirling on her heel. She thrust her hands into her jacket pockets as she shuffled away in the opposite direction. "I mean, it woulda' been one thing if he'd just said 'Get back to work, Rikku' -but did he hafta' carry on for, like, an hour?!" She pouted. That particular overseer, Klax, had always been no fun -he reminded her vaguely of a certain grumpy guardian she had travelled with once, only less tolerable and much less likely to save one's butt from a fifty foot tall fiend.

"Oooh, where did that one-eyed dork go?" She had wanted to tell him her plan for sneaking out of the camp so they could go to Bevelle - she had decided that Via Infinito was nothing compared to Klax and her father's lectures. She wandered around the site, eventually peeping into the cavern which housed their camp. She figured that a frusterated Gippal might actually opt to get some sleep in his tent. Instead, she found a cursing Brother disassembling it.

"What're you doing, you dork?!" She yelled, causing Brother to drop the tent pole he was holding onto his foot. If Brother still wanted a way to get back at Gippal for Felina, this would almost do it -no one tampered with Gippal's nap time and lived to tell the tale. Still, as get-backs go, it was pretty lame. "He's got all his stuff in there -you are sooooo immature!" Brother glared.

"Idiot! He left already!" Noting the crestfallen expression on his little sister's face, Brother took his opportunity to jab. "Is little Rikku said her boyfriend has lef- EEEYAH!"

She smirked triumphantly as her brother waved his arms wildly, trying to tame the surges of electricity that zipped through his mohawk. "That's payback from when I was little, big guy!" His cursings only made her giggle -he was annoying, but Brother was excellent comic relief and sometimes good to have around. "Aw, don't feel bad -I've been practicing!" Getting no response other than bad words in all the languages of Spira, Rikku just watched him for awhile, her hands clasped behind her back as she rocked back and forth. "Well, uhm," she said slowly after perhaps five minutes of nonstop Tourette's, "bye-bye!" 

She zipped outside, leaving her eccentric sibling to his ranting, raving, and general cursing of all black magics.

---------------------------------------------

The difference in terrain was sudden, as always. He had heard that Macalania Woods was dead now; it was only half-true. The forest was still there, but the magic was gone. Nothing sparkled anymore; the plants were a dull brown-green, the trees a gnarled ashen. Gippal wrinkled his nose as his boot stirred up the musty odor of decaying leaf. 

There was no music left in Macalania Woods.

But Gippal didn't really think about any of this, because he didn't really care. He was _not _a tree-hugging hippie. The foreign sound of a faint owl's hoot greeted his ears, and a giant leech lept onto his back.

"You're leaving without me?" Rikku pouted, her legs fastened about his wast and her arms slug around his neck.

"Can't... breathe...." With a quiet 'oops,' Rikku loosened her hold. Gippal turned his head, trying in vain to get a good look at his passenger. 

"Whatever happened to your 'duties', Cid's girl?" He smiled inwardly as he felt her laughter against his back.  
  
"Duties suck." 

He broke into a grin, then a laugh. Things were working out after all. "True as all hell, man. Believe me-" He smirked. "I know."  
  
"So, I can still come, riiiiiight?" Gippal rubbed his chin. 

  
"Aw, fine -but gerroffame! No free rides!" Besides, it was hard to carry a BFG on your shoulder and a human being on your back.

Rikku giggled and slid to the ground, now half-walking, half-bouncing at his side, feeling the need to voice her opinion on each and every bit of shrubbery they passed. Thus went the trip to Bevelle: bantering, laughing, and, naturally, smacking each other upside the head a few times.

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A/N: Thank you all for taking the time to review. ^^ I will update _when I have time_, as I do have a life. Enthusiasm is appreciated all the same. But! Now, a word from our sponsors!!  
  
Jecht: Is it jus' me, or would "Metallic Gazebo" be a kickass name fer a rock band?  
Auron: ...it's just you. 

Braska: Why is there a backslash between the A and N of "Author's Notes"?  
Captain Barbosa: I don't know -it's a mystery!


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